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Akashleena's avatar

At this point, I do not know what to say. I am probably struggling to even write an appropriate response. It is hard. It is difficult to even breathe at some moments. All I end up doing is stare at a blank document or watch the cursor moving from one point to another. But it feels great to know that one is not alone in the struggle. Indeed what really helps is mere acknowledgement that things are difficult, it is not just about us and it is okay to not perform at your peak in these times of pandemic. I am not a professional writer but the struggle to produce, create, write or reflect is real.

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Deanna Csomo McCool's avatar

Thank you for sharing. I'm not a person who makes goals just on New Year's Eve; I sort of make goals year round. However, in addition to my goal to drink a little less wine and exercise most day (both of which I have proudly accomplished), my goal this year was to have a quiet, drama-free year with no change, and to be more productive with my writing. The reason: Too much change the previous years, and devastating changes at that. My 17-year-old daughter died by suicide in August 2018. The following February I filed for divorce. That was finalized in April 2019, and then I moved into a humble house that needed a lot of work. Plumbing kept breaking, and I learned that water, proper drainage and my use of water in the house is pretty darn important. Through all these changes I wrote (I work full time as a science writer at a university and also freelance) and even took on an adjunct position teaching science journalism. But I had not been nearly as productive as I could be. So 2020 was going to be my YEAR. Doing fun things on the weeks that my younger daughter was with her dad, not being tied down to someone else's expectations. Writing at least 2 major freelance pieces. And clearly the pandemic has dampened that. The daily struggle to put out as much writing as I want has been real. I managed to finish a lengthy profile (freelance) that will be out in January, and I have never been so excited to be at the fact-checking stage in my life. I'm not stuck, but I am....slower. Here's to hoping things improved for all of us. I think if we keep showing up, putting one foot forward, we'll eventually all make it through this stronger than before. I am feeling the call to start on a book project in 2021 and hope I have the fortitude to buckle down and hash out that plan.

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