Sometimes losing it is the only way to get something either understood or done. Even if not a great strategy in the long run, it seems to very much work in the short run! Really like the new color!
Oh, man, do I ever identify. I go along, go along, go along, until one moment, not necessarily the worst moment, and I just lose my shit. I BLAST someone, and it's completely justified, and they are contrite, and things change for the better, but I never, EVER get over the guilt of doing this.
I try not to do that, either, but I had a screechy moment with a hotel manager in March, and so I wouldn't go off, I swept out the front door, but then realized I needed to go the other way, so I had to sweep back in.
Yesterday I had a long talk with a friend who has been doing a group therapy program for more than a month and is miserable. The more she told me about it the more I told her she should quit. But at first when she was saying she wanted to quit (before she went into the details that made me realize the experience was doing more harm than good), I was like your therapist: I was thinking, "But you should stay because you're a good example for everyone else." No. no. no. The whole point of therapy is to make yourself better. Save yourself, then put the oxygen mask on the other person. Thanks for your essay. Coming across it this morning was beshert. (I sent a link to my friend.)
What I felt when I read your "losing your shit" post was (1) gratitude that you share real feelings about real stuff therefore making me feel okay about being more real, (2) that with your mom's illness and your travel for caregiving, you are in one of the greatest stress points of anyone's life and possibly more prone to "lose it" and (3) that I love the new color of your house and the house itself.
When I lose my shit with someone who doesn't deserve it but is blocking access to the person who does deserve it, I try to say something along the lines, "I know this isn't your fault and I'm not mad at you but INSERT OUTRAGED RANT.
In my younger days, I was a flight attendant and I used to be the person getting ranted at, so I'm well versed with being on that end of the righteous rage equation.
Your reaction, Sari, was justified. Your anger was meant for the salesman but you had to go through the gatekeeper, the receptionist. By that point you had reached the end of your patience, understandably. What a frustrating situation. If she had given you any sign that she took you seriously and wanted to be helpful, I ‘m sure you would have picked up on that. But she did not. We all have our breaking points; we’re not saints and I can’t think of anyone I know who wouldn’t have done the same in your situation. So give yourself a pass. And that title better fuckin’ get there soon or Give us the contact info. so they’re bombarded by a bunch of us! Seriously, this isn’t good business practice on their end. Have you tried speaking to the manager/owner of the dealership? They need to know and answer to you.
One more idea: if it’s been a week and still no title, contact your congressman’s office. They can be very helpful. I reached out to mine about a problem with Medicare that I had been having for months and in less than a work week they got it resolved.
I’ve lived my version of this. I would also explain the cash withdrawal. Haha. You’re doing magnificently well. I hope that fucking title gets to you soon. Argh. ❤️❤️❤️
Sometimes losing it is the only way to get something either understood or done. Even if not a great strategy in the long run, it seems to very much work in the short run! Really like the new color!
<3
Oh, man, do I ever identify. I go along, go along, go along, until one moment, not necessarily the worst moment, and I just lose my shit. I BLAST someone, and it's completely justified, and they are contrite, and things change for the better, but I never, EVER get over the guilt of doing this.
<3
Love the new color palette! Very cozy.
Thank you!
I try not to do that, either, but I had a screechy moment with a hotel manager in March, and so I wouldn't go off, I swept out the front door, but then realized I needed to go the other way, so I had to sweep back in.
Yesterday I had a long talk with a friend who has been doing a group therapy program for more than a month and is miserable. The more she told me about it the more I told her she should quit. But at first when she was saying she wanted to quit (before she went into the details that made me realize the experience was doing more harm than good), I was like your therapist: I was thinking, "But you should stay because you're a good example for everyone else." No. no. no. The whole point of therapy is to make yourself better. Save yourself, then put the oxygen mask on the other person. Thanks for your essay. Coming across it this morning was beshert. (I sent a link to my friend.)
Glad this was helpful. Hope your friend finds a better therapeutic situation! Thanks for sharing this.
Reading your book right now. Been wanting to for ages, but this post made sure I finally downloaded it (-:
Thank you!!!
Did you get the car title yet? I really need to know. I’m going to be preoccupied until I know you have it.
😂 NOT YET. To quote Pete Campbell, it's "Not great, Bob." Will let you know when it shows up.
What I felt when I read your "losing your shit" post was (1) gratitude that you share real feelings about real stuff therefore making me feel okay about being more real, (2) that with your mom's illness and your travel for caregiving, you are in one of the greatest stress points of anyone's life and possibly more prone to "lose it" and (3) that I love the new color of your house and the house itself.
<3
Well the house paint color choice is fantastic! So there’s that.
Thanks!
When I lose my shit with someone who doesn't deserve it but is blocking access to the person who does deserve it, I try to say something along the lines, "I know this isn't your fault and I'm not mad at you but INSERT OUTRAGED RANT.
In my younger days, I was a flight attendant and I used to be the person getting ranted at, so I'm well versed with being on that end of the righteous rage equation.
Hang in there, Sari!
💕
Your reaction, Sari, was justified. Your anger was meant for the salesman but you had to go through the gatekeeper, the receptionist. By that point you had reached the end of your patience, understandably. What a frustrating situation. If she had given you any sign that she took you seriously and wanted to be helpful, I ‘m sure you would have picked up on that. But she did not. We all have our breaking points; we’re not saints and I can’t think of anyone I know who wouldn’t have done the same in your situation. So give yourself a pass. And that title better fuckin’ get there soon or Give us the contact info. so they’re bombarded by a bunch of us! Seriously, this isn’t good business practice on their end. Have you tried speaking to the manager/owner of the dealership? They need to know and answer to you.
Oh, I gave it to him, too! And that title had better show up soon! Thank you.
One more idea: if it’s been a week and still no title, contact your congressman’s office. They can be very helpful. I reached out to mine about a problem with Medicare that I had been having for months and in less than a work week they got it resolved.
I’ve lived my version of this. I would also explain the cash withdrawal. Haha. You’re doing magnificently well. I hope that fucking title gets to you soon. Argh. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, Jane. Glad to know it's not just me. (And that fucking title had better arrive soon! Lol.)
Yes, we do! Glad the title will be overnighted. All best.
Fingers crossed we get the title sooooooon...
Powerful!
What a wonderful birthday gift to yourself!