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I had only just started to get to know Gabe and we instantly hit it off. We were exchanging emails and engaging with our respective work and clearly we vibed.

I barely knew him and yet I received this news like a punch to the gut. Clearly he was a big generous soul, and the world is poorer for his absence.

Thanks for sharing this piece.

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Thanks for letting me know about your friendship with Gabe, too. <3

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Really appreciate this, it captures so much of how I’ve been feeling since hearing the news of Gabe’s passing (and about similarities regarding life online). ❤️

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<3

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What a beautiful ode to a dear friend. So sorry for your loss and a loss for the Substack community and beyond. Prayers for his family. 🙏

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Thank you. Yes, thinking of his family. 🙏🏼

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I'm sorry I didn't get to know him, even virtually a little bit. Sounds like a wonderful human being.

My husband and I share some of your own worries about getting older and not having an extended family. Ever since we decided not to have kids, I knew there would be upsides and downsides to that decision. I accepted that and knew that there were certain things we'd have to figure out.

I also have a zillion connections online, for which I am quite grateful, especially since we travel full time and having IRL relationships can be more difficult. But I find social media etc can be a great way to keep the IRL relationships going and to eventually turn online relationships into IRL. And even if that doesn't happen, I do feel more connected to the world because of those connections.

I imagine a lot of folks who never met Gabe feel that way about having known him at least a little bit.

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Yes, there are definitely advantages to all that connection.

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But, as you note, they aren't the sort of connection to be there IRL when you need help.

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Yes. <3

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Dec 3, 2023·edited Dec 3, 2023Liked by Sari Botton

A poignant reflection that says much of what I feel.

I didn’t know Gabe, but I’m glad you did. Sorry for your loss.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Sari. For our loss as a writing/creative community. I'm in a similar boat as you. No kids, no family, friends splattered all over the place, only a few in close (I'll-be-over-in-a-few) proximity. I'm in more regular contact with my "digital" friends than the ones I have dinners with. We live in a strange time. I think we'll probably end up creating Gen X communes, sort of like Golden Girls (and dudes) villages, where we all come together, keep each other company, care for one another. And, likely, this plan will all come together online. Sending you a big hug and much appreciation for your part in community building. The online friendships I've been part of have been/are very real. It's like a Julia Childs' penpal thing, but now we have the option of phone calls and FaceTime. xo

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Yes, I talk about that kind of Gen X senior commune all the time! Thanks for letting me know how much you relate. 💕

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Let me know if you start one, Sari. I'll sign up/invest. xo

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Oldster Manor. 😂

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I'm so fucking in. xo

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During Covid and then when I had Covid, I was even more extremely online than I am usually, which is pretty extreme, writer and editor that I am, I had some lovely Twitter exchanges with Gabe. I felt like we got each other. I know that he was so warm and welcoming of all. His death has really hit me hard. RIP, sweet Gabe.

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Me, too. I'm so sad. Amazing how many lives he touched. <3

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<3

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